Hitting a brick wall with resistant clients

I've seen lots of good material over the past couple of years about PowerPoint slides and handouts, PowerPoint slides AS handouts, and lots of other material on effective PowerPoint. Topics that I've written about before include:

PowerPoint effectiveness based on research

New research about PowerPoint titles

Are you too dependent on your co-presenter?

Dave Paradi's Annoying PowerPoint Survey

Is the font on your PowerPoint big enough?

Why you can't read slides and listen to a speaker at the same time

PowerPoint slides as handouts and Slideuments and Slides are not handouts

PowerPoint disaster

Getting the resistant on board

PowerPoint design in 2009 -- a group blogging project

My fellow presentation experts Olivia Mitchell, Laura Bergells, Dave Paradi, Garr Reynolds, Cliff Atkinson, Jan Schultink, Jon Thomas, Jennifer Kammeyer, Ellen Finkelstein and others have been putting out bucketloads of excellent content about how to make PowerPoint effective for audiences and why.

So please tell me: If all this rich, plentiful, easy-to-understand material is out there, how do we get our clients to adopt the better way? (And let me clarify: I'm talking about training clients, not PowerPoint design clients. My design clients totally get it!)

Here are the arguments I hear against solid, well-founded research:

"We have to brand every slide with our logo, in case a client or someone from another company uses one of our slides out of context."

"We have to brand every slide with our logo because the audience doesn't know our company very well."

"We have to do slides full of text and bullets because our clients don't take our presentations seriously without it."

"We have to do slides full of text and bullets because we have no time to do a report as well as slides." (To which I reply, "Waah waah waah. Nobody has time. That's not an excuse.")

"We have to give our slides as handouts, because the conference requires it."

"We have to make our slides fit this format because we give it to another department afterward who won't understand if we change it."

I have responses to all of these arguments, but I'm not heartless or rigid. I get where they're coming from. Change is scary. It's time-consuming to develop new skills, train others and spread a new message. Sometimes there's one brave soul who gets it and wants to take the next step. But for every one brave soul, there are 15 who put up brick walls.

I suggest baby steps. Try one new thing. Cut down ten bullets to five. Spread out five bullet points over five slides. Take out hard-to-read charts and give them as handouts instead. Try using sentences as headers instead of single words or phrases. Nothing too crazy, fluffy or complicated.

But the resistance persists and honestly, I'm getting fed up.

You, my awesome readers, must have some responses to these arguments that I haven't yet heard or tried. If all the research can be ignored...if all the benefits to the audience's engagement, comprehension and retention can be ignored...if the ease, professionalism and simplicity of effective slides can be ignored, what else is there?

Please share in the comments how you appeal to your most resistant clients to make the move to new models of PowerPoint.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

8 tips for assertive communication

I've talked to several people on different occasions recently who have had trouble asserting themselves in a professional setting. Whether it was figuring out how to turn down friend requests on Facebook, or saying no to a request for free assistance or a business partnership, the issue of "hurting people's feelings" reared its head and interfered with a perfectly normal and neutral business conversation.

Specific to women, as this is a big part of our gender socialization, the fear of hurting people's feelings, being rejected or being perceived as aggressive keeps us from asserting ourselves on a regular basis. Do men have this fear? Yes they do, but not as much as women, as assertiveness in men is rewarded, while assertiveness in women is often punished.

Yet assertiveness is one of the most critical skills one can have in business, and as a speaker (and heck... in life, period).

As a speaker, assertiveness comes in handy when negotiating the details of your speaking engagements, when requesting your room to be set up a certain way, when dealing with challenging audience members, when standing up for your ideas in a meeting, and when responding to requests or client projects that are not a good fit for you. Of course, this is just the tip of the iceberg; there are countless other times when assertiveness is a benefit to speakers and in business.

Let's clarify what I mean by assertiveness.

Assertiveness is saying what you mean and asking for what you want, in a clear, factual and straightforward manner and without apology. It's a neutral way to communicate a positive or negative message without being hurtful to the other person and without letting another person walk all over you. Assertiveness requires respect, honesty, personal responsibility, active listening and often, compromise.

Other communication styles:

Passive communication is when you bend over backwards not to hurt the other person, beat around the bush, avoid honesty, avoid eye contact, apologize for your feelings, ideas or behavior, whine or complain. Passive communication is based on fear of hurting another or fear of rejection, and it's hard to get what you want when your message is unclear and you spend your life avoiding possible conflict.

Aggressive communication is when all you care about is your own needs, doing whatever it takes to get what you want at the expense of the other person. It might involve blaming, judging, humiliation, name-calling or threats. There is a clear lack of respect for the other person's rights, and the aggressor does not take responsibility for her or his own feelings and behaviors. This style of communication is also based on emotion, not facts, and it undermines any trust or respect others may have for you.

Another common style is passive-aggressive communication. This may involve manipulation, dishonesty, sarcasm, sabotage, body language that's incongruent with words, and outright avoidance of real issues. It's a way of attempting to make up for feelings of powerlessness over someone else without exhibiting outright aggression. This communication style also results in a lack of trust and respect from your peers and colleagues.

Women, in particular, are often afraid of being perceived as aggressive when they are actually trying to be assertive, and therefore revert to passive or passive-aggressive communication for comfort and safety. Our culture has come a long way, but many still find it hard to accept assertiveness in women.

Well, too bad.

It's your right to stand up for yourself. It's your right to ask for what you want. And there's a way to do it that is healthy, caring and fosters mutual respect.

Here are a few tips for demonstrating assertive behavior:

1. Listen without interrupting. Let the other person have their say, and really hear what they're saying.

2. State your needs and wants clearly and with respect. Don't apologize for anything. Be honest and fair. (You may want to practice what you're going to say before a situation where assertiveness will be required.) Use "I statements."

3. Ask the person if they need clarification.

4. Stick to your point and don't be led astray by arguments that are not relevant.

5. Stick to the facts of the situation, rather than personal judgments about the other person.

6. Make eye contact, keep your voice calm and your posture relaxed and confident.

7. Make sure your words and body language match. If you're upset about something, don't smile; it's confusing to the other person what you really mean.

8. Always look for the win-win. How can you and the other person both come away with something you want?

Now let's be clear: Assertive communication does not guarantee that you will always get what you want. None of these communication styles guarantees that, and we are still fighting gender stereotypes that reward women for passive behavior. But times are changing, and the only way to keep moving forward is to keep building healthy communication skills -- whether you're male or female.

What assertiveness can get you is respect, healthy relationships, self-confidence, the freedom to express yourself honestly, trust, reduced anxiety, and people who want to work with and be around you.

Those are some pretty sweet rewards.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Are you a good audience member?

Most of my tips are for speakers, but from time to time I also like to encourage the audience to step up their "audience-member" skills. Here's a perfect example of how you, as an audience member, can help the speaker do a better job: Learn your Q&A etiquette!

These tips are from Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project website, and if you follow them, you will not only help the speaker, but will avoid annoying the rest of the audience. How's that for incentive?

Here are a couple of good Q&A habits mentioned in her list of ten:

Pause for silence – don’t talk over a chattering crowd.

Don’t be long-winded. And...

Plan it out. This will help you avoid being long-winded.

And my favorite:

Don’t ask double questions. Give other people a chance.

It is indeed the speaker's job to manage Q&A, as I discussed in this post, but as an audience member, you also have a role to play.

How many times have you sat in the audience while someone else droned on and on with a question that was only relevant to himself? Or told a long story? Or hogged all the time with question after question, not giving anyone else a chance to talk?

Do you want to be that person? I didn't think so. Be considerate, be thoughtful, be concise.

Now go read the rest of Gretchen's list. Great tips!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

4 tips for better vocal projection

Cynthia Tedore, a long-time Speak Schmeak reader (and an expert on arachnids!) sent me this question: "How does one project one's voice, yet still sound natural when public speaking (and not like you're yelling)?"

For most people who are not trained speakers, singers or performers, projection is one of the hardest public speaking concepts to put into practice. It feels awkward, it feels like yelling (and it probably is), and it seems very complicated.

Here are some tips to make vocal projection easier to understand and easier to accomplish, so your audience will sit up and pay attention! (Check out the resources at the bottom of this post for more in-depth explanations of breathing and projection techniques.)

1. Relax

When we get nervous, all sorts of things happen to our bodies. Our breathing becomes shallow, our muscles become tense, especially in our upper body. The combination of shallow breathing and tight vocal cords makes for a weak and sometimes squeaky or quavery voice.

Before you speak, take a few moments for some relaxation exercises. Take some deep breaths. Warm up your neck and shoulders by doing some head and shoulder rolls. Clench your hands and feet and release -- do this a couple of times. Raise your arms over your head and take a big stretch. Open your mouth wide and warm up your face and jaw muscles. Bend at the waist and let your head and arms hang down to the floor.

Warming up and stretching your upper body will release that tension that's tightening up your throat and keeping you from breathing fully.

2. Open your mouth

Sometimes the only problem is that you just aren't opening your mouth enough. If you don't open your mouth, your voice is not going to go anywhere; on top of that, you are probably not enunciating, making your speech even harder to understand.

One trick to getting you to open your mouth wider and enunciate better is to practice vocal variety. My favorite method for this is to read children's books aloud (to yourself or to a child you may have on hand). You can't read a story to a 4-year-old without acting it out a little, and practicing this way will help you add some color and liveliness to your voice, which in turn will help your enunciation and projection.

3. Improve your posture

If you're not standing tall with your head up, you are strangling your voice. Your voice is made of air, and it needs a wide-open path from your lungs, past your vocal cords and out your mouth to be heard clearly.

Make sure your body and head are facing the audience, with your chest and shoulders open, not slouched or hunched. Hold your head high and, when reading from your notes, do not speak at the same time, but wait until you are looking up at your audience again. More on physical presence here.

When you're standing tall with good posture, you are also able to breathe more effectively, not only pulling in enough air, but expelling it better as well, which pushes your voice out into the world.

4. Focus your voice

Vocal projection is not so much about being louder as it is about placement. When you are not projecting your voice, it's because you are speaking to a space right in front of your face. Projection just means that, instead of focusing at a point right in front of you, you focus on a point farther away.

When you practice your presentation, practice speaking to various objects in the room. Start with something close, like a chair. Then, when you feel that the chair is hearing you, focus on something a little farther away, perhaps a plant. Talk to the plant (yes, I've had my clients talk to their plants); use the vocal variety mentioned above, breathe, and make sure your mouth is open so the air can flow. Does the plant hear you? Good. Now focus on something across the room, maybe a picture on the far wall. And so on.

If you feel your voice straining, stop. Don't force it. If you're not used to speaking and projecting your voice, start with humming. Here's a great exercise by Dr. Morton Cooper to help you focus your voice and find your natural pitch (note the part about the facial mask -- this is where you want your voice to be, bouncing off the cavities in your head and producing resonance).

Humming is also a great way to warm up your voice before you speak so you don't strain it.

These are a couple of easy ways to start getting more projection and clarity from your voice.

For more information on voice care and training, check out:

Kate Peters
Joanna Cazden
Susan Berkley
Dr. Morton Cooper

Please share your tips for better vocal projection in the comments!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Yes, you are being judged

Most people who fear public speaking actually fear being judged. Whatever the stated fear is, whether it's "I don't want to lose my place," or "I don't want to bore the audience," or "I'm afraid I can't answer a question," these all come down to a fear of being judged. Judged inadequate. Judged incompetent. Judged insufficient. Rejected.

And as much as I remind my clients that audiences want you to succeed and are not there to critique you, there is a legitimate reality here:

We are judging and critiquing people all the time.

We walk down the street noting what people are wearing, what people are saying, what people are holding, what people are doing. We notice, we filter, and then we move on.

We do this to determine lots of things, but mostly: Is this person like me? How much is this person like me or different from me?

We are always subconsciously trying to figure out our relationship to other people. Should I smile? Should I be threatened? Is this person trustworthy? Does she want something from me? Can I connect with this person?

So yes, in a way, you are being judged. But not in the way you think. The audience is trying to determine what their relationship is with you. Can they trust you? Will you listen to them and understand where they're coming from? Is this relationship worth their time and money?

Your job on stage is to connect, relate, and deliver. You don't have to be like your audience to do so, but you do have to be compatible with what your audience expects from a speaker in the general sense (see my article on being professional, for starters), and with what the audience is looking for specific to your topic. Your words have to be consistent with your actions and emotions. You have to be sincere, authentic and focused on serving the audience.

If you make a mistake, this does not damage your relationship with the audience. They won't judge you for forgetting what you were saying or having an equipment snafu. It's not the technicalities that interfere with your relationship.

What does damage your relationship with the audience is your lack of connection, your lack of understanding of who they are and what they want, and your overly anxious concern for your own well-being.

When you get past that, nothing can scare you anymore.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

9 ways to act like a pro, even if you're not

You may not be a professional speaker, but there's no reason not to act like one.

If you want to get speaking engagements to promote your business, for example, you are more likely to be invited if you have a professional presence. Just because you're not a pro, it doesn't mean potential organizers are going to let you get away with bad practices, and you will not be invited back -- if you are even invited in the first place.

Here are some tips to appear professional and look like you know what you're doing.

Before the engagement

1. Don't use a free e-mail service

If you want to be taken seriously as a business owner you must use your own domain for e-mail. You must have a website (or blog site) and you must stop using Gmail, Yahoo and Hotmail for your e-mail address. Period.

2. Post your photo on your website

People who will ask you to speak want to get to know you a little. Your website is your calling card. Who are you? What are you all about? What's your style and personality?

Using stock photos to populate your site doesn't make you look professional, it makes you look generic. Be somebody! Show your face.

3. Answer e-mails and phone calls promptly

You must be respectful of your prospects and return their messages in a timely manner. Taking a week to get back to someone is not professional, and people will move on to someone else if you come across as unresponsive and unreliable.

4. Be responsible for getting your needs met

I know this sounds like something a therapist would say, but bear with me.

Visit the event space in advance to see how the room is set up. If you need a microphone, say so. If you need the room configured a certain way, say so. If you need a table for your notes, say so. In order to make your presentation as effective as it can be for you and for the audience, you must speak up and let the organizer know what you need.

It may not be possible to get everything you need, but you must at least make the effort.

At the engagement

5. Project confidence

I know, I know. Easier said than done. But who knows more about your business than you do? You don't have to know everything about everything. Just show your passion and excitement for what you do. Stand tall. Breathe. Make eye contact. Don't apologize for anything.

Let your expertise shine and share your best tips. Make your presentation all about giving value and practical tools. That's all your audience wants.

Get out of the cage and own the stage!

6. Come early and leave late

Give yourself plenty of time to set up and meet people before you speak. Mingle with the crowd, introduce yourself, make friends. And afterward, don't run right out the door if you can help it. Stick around, thank people for coming, answer questions.

Of course, if you want to look like a prima donna, arrive at the last minute and then leave without talking to anyone.

7. Dress appropriately

I'm not going to give specifics on color or skirt length. You can find lots of articles on the web about what not to wear. What I will say is that you should find out the purpose of the meeting and what your audience will be wearing, and then make sure to be dressed as well as or better than they are.

Audience is casual? You be business casual. Audience is business casual? You be at least business casual, if not a little dressier. It's always okay to be dressed up a little more than the audience, but it's not okay to be inappropriately over- or under-dressed.

Most important, dress in a way that's comfortable and authentic to who you are. Dress appropriately to your business, your message, and to your personal style. I've seen speakers in pretty wacky outfits, but it fit their message and style and was perfectly appropriate. I've also seen way too many speakers in boring dull-colored suits and it didn't do them - or me - any favors.

8. Watch out for typos and mispronunciations

Have you had someone proofread your materials? Are you giving handouts with misspellings or poor grammar? And how about your own language?

If you put out poorly edited materials, what is the audience supposed to think about your services? If you can't take the time and care to put out professional materials, why would a prospective client expect quality work from you? If you know your spelling isn't great, get someone to proofread. Another pair of eyes will help you find the mistakes you're overlooking.

If there are words you aren't sure about, check the pronunciation online. At many dictionary sites, you can even listen to audio of the word pronounced properly. I recently listened to someone introduce her business, mispronouncing a key descriptive word several times. It was painful.

This is an example of a time when videotaping or audio recording would be helpful. Or at least have a friend or colleague sit in on your presentation or practice session to give feedback.

After the engagement

9. Thank your host and audience

Make sure to acknowledge your host and express your gratitude for the opportunity to speak to their group. Remember: Without an audience, there is no speaker!

The more opportunities you have to promote your business through public speaking, the more comfortable you will become with the professional aspects of booking these engagements. The more you present yourself as a professional, the more opportunities you will have to promote your business!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Another challenging venue

I recently wrote about some oddly configured conference rooms I've presented in, and here's the latest interesting venue, from last night:

This is the new event pavilion at the Ventura County Museum. It's a beautiful space, with a courtyard out front featuring stone walls and a series of glass mosaics showing scenes from local history. The pavilion has a state-of-the-art new projection and sound system and will be a great venue for large engagements.

It might not be easy to see from this picture (I should have put a person in the picture for scale), but the pavilion is huge. The ceiling is high. And at the event last night, there were about 20 people present, seated at four tables placed in the front third of the room.

In a room like this, it's hard to create a presence (even for a larger-than-life character like myself), and hard to feel connected with your audience.

The sound echoes -- when people talk, their voices dissipate in the huge space (luckily, I don't have problems with being heard myself). I had to ask people to repeat their questions and comments several times. I decided against using a microphone because of the size of the audience; I felt it would create even more psychological distance, although the sound might have been better.

I was dwarfed by the impressively giant screen. It wasn't physically chilly in the room, but there was a sense of coldness and distance, even though I was standing right in front of the tables.

As you know, I was sick yesterday, and had to dredge up some extra energy to get through the presentation. So on top of the extra energy, I needed to put out even more energy so I wouldn't get lost in the space.

It was a challenge, and I didn't feel that it was my best presentation ever, but I had a good time and the audience and I made the best of the space. I enjoyed working with the very professional staff of the Ventura County Museum in getting set up. And thank you to ISES, for inviting me to speak at their meeting!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

My turn to suck it up

I have a presentation tonight, and I've got a head cold!

Somehow I've been very lucky all these years. I can remember being sick enough to need cold meds during a presentation only once. Just recently I gave a presentation on two hours of sleep, first thing in the morning, and I guarantee no one could tell I was impaired.

But today, I've got congestion and sniffles, my eyes are puffy, and I am clearly sick. Something must be done. First, I don't want to feel crummy through the presentation. Second, I don't want the audience to be distracted by my sniffles.

I would love to hear your favorite remedies for making it through a presentation, a meeting, a hard day at work, when you know you have no choice but to suck it up and perform! How do you stay sharp, not fuzzy?

Please share in the comments -- your remedy might be just the thing to help me or another reader!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Don't lose yourself in the adoration of the audience

A few weeks ago, I learned a new phrase from the TV show So You Think You Can Dance. One of the judges called Kent Boyd's expression while performing, "hungry jazz face."

The judges' criticisms stemmed from their belief that Kent was too busy playing to the audience and not demonstrating authenticity in his performance.

Nigel Lythgoe said, "You are starting to become a little fake in your performance...you have a magical quality and you love playing to the audience, but if you start faking your performance, that will get you into trouble with the viewers. Please be careful, and don't lose yourself in the adoration of the audience."

Here's the "hungry jazz face," and the performance the judges were referring to.

kent 9 @ Yahoo! Video

(Problems with first video? Watch it here.)

Now watch his performance in week 6, below. No hungry jazz face here. Kent has paid attention to the judges' advice, has watched himself back on video (as they all do each week), and has completely immersed himself in the performance, the character, and his relationship to his partner.

LF.KB.C @ Yahoo! Video

(Problems with second video? Watch it here.)

You might say that the two dances were different styles and therefore it was appropriate for him to be less connected to his partner in the first one. You might also say that, as speakers, we don't have a partner and it's ALL about the audience. So what's wrong with playing to the audience?

When we speak, the audience is indeed our partner. As a speaker, you are in a unique position where you are performing for your audience while also partnering with them.

On the one hand, you must always be "on" for your audience. This means that, no matter what is going on with you internally, physically, mentally, your external demeanor is all for them. You smile, you interact, you engage them, you keep their attention, you entertain. I don't care if you've got a temperature of 102 -- if you've committed to be there, you perform and you bring energy and enthusiasm to the room or you suffer the consequences.

On the other hand, you are also in an authentic relationship with them. You must bring your own emotion to the presentation in order to stimulate theirs, and you must be real with them, or they will disconnect from you. You must read them and understand where they're coming from. How are they reacting to you? Are you getting through? Are you reaching them? You won't make this connection if you are not authentic and heartfelt.

What concerns the judges in Kent's first performance is that it's all entertainment and not enough engagement. He brings the energy but not the presence. He's more concerned with being liked by the audience than with making a real impact.

In the second dance number, you see that he's got the energy, the presence, and the authenticity and, while this number is not about his relationship with the audience, the audience cannot look away. The audience cannot disconnect, because his performance is so real.

How can you be more real for your audiences?

How can you stop focusing on their adoration and instead offer true inspiration?

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

3 tips for when an audience member dominates Q&A

How many times have you sat in the audience during the Q&A portion of a presentation (either live or on the Web or phone), and felt frustrated by one audience member dominating the questions? Perhaps this person has several questions that go on and on, or perhaps she doesn't have a question at all and tells long stories.

Either way, the speaker is not taking charge of the situation, leaving the rest of the audience, also with questions, tapping their feet, looking at the clock, and feeling ignored.

Unlike a true heckler, the person dominating Q&A is not trying to put you down or make you look bad. Like a heckler, however, this person does want a lot of personal attention which, as the presenter, you cannot give at the expense of other audience members.

How do you handle this needy person?

1. The multiple question-asker

When someone says, "I have a couple of questions," one way to deal with it is to take the first question and ask her if she can save the other two until others have asked theirs. You will immediately nip in the bud the first kind of dominating questioner. If you run out of time for everyone's questions, let them know you'll stay after for a few minutes if people want to talk, or ask them to contact you by e-mail with additional questions.

The person might not tell you she has more than one question, but you soon discover that there are multiple questions coming, and it's too late to stop it. In this case, try to give a general answer that covers some of her concerns, and again, suggest talking more afterward so you can more specifically address her particular issues. Then move on.

2. The conversationalist

Sometimes a person asks a question, you answer it, and then he just continues to converse with you, adding details and sometimes sneaking in a "follow-up" question or two. This is a difficult situation, because you feel rude if you cut him off mid-sentence, but you know you have to stop the flow.

When it appears that this person will continue talking or is going to sneak in another question, don't let it go on and on. Jump in when he takes a breath for air with a comment like, "That's a really common concern. Thanks for bringing that up. Does someone else have a question they'd like to ask?" Just do it. Be assertive. Don't be rude, but cut the cord.

3. The storyteller

This is the person who stands up and starts talking about her own experience, but never actually formulates a question. These stories can go on indefinitely. Again, you need to be polite but firm. When the person takes a breath or when you can sense any kind of break coming, jump right in with, "Wow, that must have been scary. I'm glad you survived. Do you have a question?"

If the person cannot put together a question, you need to take control and say, "I'm going to move on to the next person with a question. If you'd like to talk after the presentation, I'll be around for a little while."

Managing Q&A is a skill developed through practice. It's not just about knowing the answers; it's also about crowd control. Be assertive but caring. Let the audience member know that you hear him and that you value what he has to say. But never let someone dominate the room; you will see your audience's eyes glaze over and you will their interest and maybe not regain it.

Share your strategies for handling the Q&A dominator below!

And for more on dealing with hecklers, go here:

Heckle Schmeckle

Hecklers, the original backchannel

Dealing with hecklers download

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

How are your observational skills?

During last night's Tour de France coverage, commentator Craig Hummer made the following segue:

"We should make note of the area's most famous landmark, the coal mine behind us. A lot of riders, Bob, are going to have to dig deep today."

Clever! He managed to give a bit of information about the area, and use the expression "dig deep" as a subtle double entendre, in order to transition to his next idea.

Observational humor is a well-known public speaking tool, where the speaker takes something that has happened or is happening in the room and spontaneously brings it into his presentation for a laugh. Here's an example from John Kinde's Humor Power blog:

"At a company awards luncheon it seemed as though nearly everyone receiving 5, 10 and 15-year service awards had started in the company's telemarketing department and had subsequently worked their way into other jobs. I added a new line to my opening monologue. 'People call me a comedy magician because they laugh at my magic and they're mystified by my jokes. But I wasn't always a comedy magician. I used to work in telemarketing!' It was on target and received a great response. The audience appreciated the fresh, spontaneous nature of the remark."

But what about using observation in a non-humorous way? (Is there a name for this? Observational talking?)

This is simply where you refer to people, events and surroundings throughout your presentation to use as examples and to illustrate your points. You don't necessarily have to be as clever as Craig Hummer, but think about how you can bring back something someone said or did as a way to make a point.

You might find it difficult to use your observational and listening skills during a presentation while you're talking and thinking and trying to stay focused on your topic. However, you will improve the more you try it, and the more you focus on the audience instead of yourself and your need to be liked or your various discomforts.

I recently gave a training to an organization that was using the meeting room at our local zoo. They had about a half-day of training planned, after which they were going to take a train ride around the zoo and visit some of the behind-the-scenes animal living areas.

In my opening to the presentation, I asked two of my typical questions, one about how many people love or dread speaking, and the second about how they rank their skills as a speaker. My third question was "How many people in the room have fed a giraffe?"

This brought a little humor and shook things up a bit with the observation that, not only were we at the zoo, but that the group would very shortly be hanging out in the giraffe's "bedroom." I did have to mention that I was a Zoo Camp counselor 20 years ago and that part of my training in deflecting embarrassment was walking around the zoo day after day, singing songs at the top of my lungs, trailed by a group of six-year-olds (aka The Squirrel Monkeys).

Members of my referrals networking group have become masters of observation. At one meeting, Ellen, whose products include vitamins and healthy cleaning products said, as part of her 30-second "commercial": "We need this kind of excitement every month...so don't get the flu!" At another meeting, Linda talked about looking at people's rings to determine if they might need a wedding photographer -- a segue from our resident jeweler, Calla's commercial.

Listen to your audience. Watch what they do. Notice how they joke amongst themselves. Notice what's happening in the room, outside the room, around your space. The more you focus on the group and the setting, the more you can use observation for both humor and illustration purposes. Your audience likes to know that you're paying attention to them, so there's an added bonus of bonding and connecting with the group through showing that you're in the moment with them.

How have you used your observational skills to liven up your presentations?

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Do you confuse your abilities with your worth as a person?

Here's another illuminating post I'd like to share with you, by Heather Stubbs at the Tips on Talking blog.

The concept is simple: Your skill level has nothing to do with your worth as a person. So simple, yet so hard to embrace!

Here's an excerpt:

"Think of all the fields in which people work with coaches –- every sport, every art. Anyone who seeks to improve their performance in anything needs an outside pair of eyes and ears, simply because we don’t see and hear ourselves as others do. A person’s skill level has nothing to do with their quality as a person. Besides, recognizing that someone else can offer constructive input is a sign of strength, not weakness."

Heather is talking about how we frequently confuse our abilities with our self-worth, and how harmful it is to stay stuck in that mindset. If you don't keep learning, you won't keep growing. But some people can't separate constructive criticism and instruction from humiliation and failure.

Read the post here and think about this: Are you hanging your self-worth on your abilities? Or are you okay with making mistakes and accepting help as part of the learning and growing process?

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More lessons from Lady Gaga

I read an inspiring blog post the other day by Stanford Smith on Pushing Social, about Lady Gaga's highly successful approach to social media. I couldn't help but notice how applicable these tips were to public speaking (as I am wont to do).

For example, he quotes Lady Gaga:

"When I wake up in the morning, I feel just like any other insecure 24-year-old girl," she says. 'Then I say, 'Bitch, you're Lady Gaga, you get up and walk the walk today.'"

In the language of Speak Schmeak, I believe we would translate that to "suck it up."

#6 on the list of eight points is of course a favorite of mine: "Practice your craft every day." As I've said many times here, if you don't keep finding opportunities to speak, you will never improve. Getting up in front of an audience is the only way to learn.

And #7 is an oldie but goodie, too: "Sweat the Details."

"Every detail of her album from the name, to the art, to the song lyrics is being scrutinized by Gaga. Nothing is being left to chance."

Are you learning about your audience, studying their background, their experience, their needs and wants? Are you checking your room in advance and letting the organizer know what you need? Are you aware of your onstage presence through videotaping or audio recording? Are you paying attention to the details?

Get over to Pushing Social and read Lady Gaga's 8-Point Guide to Larger Than Life Blogging and see if you can't apply those lessons to your speaking practice.

For an additional lesson from Lady Gaga, check out this previous post:

An awkward moment

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Don't forget to check your room

I've experienced two odd conference room configurations in the last month, and I thought I would share them with you.

When I'm booked for a training, I send the organizer a diagram with my preferred room setup. I request classroom-style seating, the screen to my left (in the corner, so I can be in the center), a small table to my right for props, materials, water, notes, etc., and a flip chart either between me and the screen, or behind me.

But of course, you can't always get what you want, and I've ended up in some pretty weird training rooms. Here's the one I was in a couple of weeks ago (click on the image to expand it):

Yes, the room really was as long and narrow as it appears in the image; actually it was a little longer than how I drew it. The flip chart was in the opposite corner from me, and I would write on it, then pull the pages off and stick them to the wall behind me.

Normally, I would stand on the other side of the screen, but that corner was even tighter, so broke my rule and stood to the left of the screen. By the end of the day, I actually had bruises on my right leg from banging up against the corner of the table for five hours!

Here's the room I was in last week:

The table had a hammerhead shape, so that if it was full, some attendees would be sitting with their backs to some of the others in the room. I was lucky enough to get a portable screen at the last minute; otherwise I would have been standing in a tight corner again -- which is typical in conference rooms, but the shape of this table would have made it even more awkward. Since there was no other spot for my props and materials, I took over the right side of the hammerhead.

I usually bring my own laptop and projector so I can place the visuals where I want them. But many rooms not only have no option for a portable screen, they have no space for one, either.

Another meeting room I spoke in recently was actually two side-by-side rooms with the wall between them opened up. Each room had a screen right in the center of the front wall. So the organizer used both screens to project my slides and I stood between the two screens. The room was a little too small to fit all the attendees in classroom-style seating, so we compromised and added some single chairs around the sides.

You never know what kind of crazy configuration you're going to get, so ALWAYS check your room in advance. I don't care if you flew in at midnight and your presentation is at 8 a.m. Get there as early as you can so you can figure out how to make it work best for you and for the audience.

Weird-shaped rooms, posts blocking people's view, loud A/C units, too-dim lighting, uncomfortable room temperature... these are just a few of the hurdles you'll face when speaking. But by viewing your room (preferably days) before your presentation, you will be ready to take on whatever challenges come your way and make them work.

Most important, you won't be distracted by tight quarters or other discomforts and you can give your full attention to connecting with your audience.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!