Psst! You're a windbag!

Hey you! You're a windbag. 😮‍💨

🌬️🌬️🌬️

Sure, you're an esteemed expert and authority in your field.

You're sought out for the value you bring to conferences.

You have knowlege and experience that's not easy to find in a speaker.

But...

🟢 You looooove to hear yourself talk.

🟣 Your ratio of lecture to engagement is wayyyy off.

🟡 You're so verbose that your audience can't even breathe.

🔵 Your language is anything but plain, and way over their heads.

You've been doing this so long, that you've forgotten the most basic concepts about giving a presentation:

🟣You can't expect bored attendees to learn or retain your material.

🟠You can't just pour information into people like they're empty vessels.

🟢You have to tailor your content so it's relevant, practical and useful to them.

🔴You have to balance what you need and want with what they need and want.

Some of my "windiest" and driest clients have been academics, CEOs, healthcare professionals, financial advisors, and lawyers, who realized that the piece missing from their presentations was engagement.

✅They know their stuff.

✅They're highly experienced.

✅They're not nervous about speaking.

But they're missing that critical element that creates a complete experience for their audiences—and by the way, the element that creates a more fun experience for themselves!

Are you missing the audience engagement piece? Reach out and let's talk!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

If you're not nervous, your presentation might suffer

If you're not nervous, your presentation might suffer.

It doesn't mean you have to be shaking in your boots to give a good performance (because that's not good for anyone), and it doesn't mean that you can't experience incredible energy and a sense of flow and connection during the performance.

What it means is that, in order to do a good job, we have to *care.* We have to be committed to delivering our best AND delivering what the audience needs, wants, and cares about. And there is ALWAYS uncertainty when you're getting in front of a group for the first time.

I'm giving my first significant keynote in December. Yes, I'm nervous! That doesn't mean I don't have 100% confidence in my ability to deliver an amazing experience. It just means that I care!

Top speakers, athletes, and entertainers will always be nervous before an event because they're committed to excellence, and they don't rest on their laurels of previous successes.

Here's a snippet of a conversation between Eddie Murphy and Jerry Seinfeld, from Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee:

Eddie: "The times I've gotten on stage and felt totally loose with no energy of being uncomfortable at all, I would do shitty. I wouldn't have as strong a set."

Jerry responds.

Eddie: You gotta have a little bit of "What if this shit doesn't... what if they don't get all of this shit?" I always do best when I have a little bit of that.

And here's a conversation between Conan O'Brien and Chris Farley, after Chris Farley took a pratfall in his character of motivational speaker Matt Foley:

Conan: "The falling down helps, right? Always gets a laugh."

Chris: "Yeah, it breaks the ice a little bit...."

Chris: "....It's like a first hit in football. It takes the butterflies away. 'Cause I was backstage like, going, 'Oh God—they're gonna know I'm dumb!' So I just fall down, try to do something physical."

Some people are so petrified that they avoid public speaking at all costs. Some get a little stage fright right before beginning their presentations, and it goes away quickly.

And a manageable amount of nervousness is beneficial to a speaker. For one thing, it's a signal to your body that you're in a heightened state of awareness. (I'll be talking more about this in my new course, FYI!)

Nervousness is a part of public speaking like crashes are part of the Tour de France. The best way to deal with nervousness is not to try to eradicate it, but to learn to manage it as a tool and use it to your advantage.

🧪🦠🧠Want to learn more about the biology, chemistry and psychology behind public speaking nerves, and also learn how to manage your nervousness, channel the adrenaline, and work on your mindset around the adrenaline rush?

I've got a new course coming out JUST on public speaking nerves and stage fright. Comment below or message me to get the link when I make it available for pre-order at a special rate.

(Pic: Here I am feeling super relaxed AFTER speaking on a panel.)

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Make a fool of yourself

When we were in LA recently, I made my husband drive around the block into an alley with this blue wall, and then take about a hundred pictures of me so I could make graphics like this one. 📸

Do I feel foolish doing these poses in public while people walk and drive by?

Maybe a little. 🤷🏻

My husband is very patient with my requests; he knows that any time we go somewhere together, I might ask him to stop in a weird place and take some weird pictures.

But taking silly pictures and videos in public is probably the LEAST embarrassing thing I do on a regular basis.

I make a fool of myself practically every time I give a presentation. And every time I learn from it.

I learn what works, what doesn't work, how to recover from mishaps, and how to engage my audience more effectively.

I put myself out there because that's how I grow as a person and as a presenter.

Every time I enter a microfiction contest, I risk embarrassing myself with a story that readers don't get, or that doesn't place, even though I thought it was good.

Or maybe I didn't think it was good, but entered it anyway because it was the best I could do given the prompts and the 24-hour constraints.

Some thoughts on a Sunday: Stop worrying about embarrassing yourself. Just get out there, make mistakes, look foolish. Get out of your comfort zone, push past the discomfort and create learning experiences for yourself!

P.S. Also, if you have a chubby gut and a double chin, take the picture anyway.

What have you done lately to look foolish on purpose? Share your thoughts below! 👇🏼

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Sometimes you're not meant to be part of the conversation

I was once reading a conversation started by a Black person about anti-Black hate crimes, and I thought it would be helpful to mention antisemitism and the hate crimes that Jews experience.

Why did I think that would be helpful? 🤷🏻

Maybe I thought Black people needed to know that Jews are also victims of violence? (Nope, they already know that.)

Maybe I thought I was offering solidarity? (I wasn't. I was making it about myself.)

Maybe I thought the conversation needed "different perspectives?" (It didn't. It was a conversation meant to educate and bring awareness about people's lived experiences, not to ask for different opinions.)

This was a huge learning experience for me, realizing that sometimes it's not actually about ME. Sometimes my opinion or perspective is not needed or relevant. 🤯

As a communication junkie and natural-born opinionated bigmouth, I have spent my life inserting myself into conversations that were not meant for me. I tend to think my opinion is incredibly valuable and worthwhile and that everyone should hear it. 📢

Now, if I want to create awareness of antisemitism, I can make my own post. I can share my own resources. I don't need to hijack someone else's post about their lived experience and try to insert my own, when it's not relevant.

I'm unlearning some things. Just because people are talking publicly about something on social media doesn't mean they want to hear "my side of the story."

Sometimes a topic is open for discussion and different perspectives.

Sometimes there's only ONE SIDE and we need to just shut up and listen. 👂🏼

To clarify:

Men: learn from the experiences of women.

White women: learn from the experiences of Black women and WOC.

White people: learn from the experiences of Black people and POC.

Straight people: learn from the experiences of LGBTQ+ people.

Cisgender people: learn from the experiences of trans and nonbinary people.

Non-disabled people: learn from the experiences of people with disabilities.

Etc.

Most of us have multiple identities, so listen to the ones you are not a part of!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Do your slides advance and enhance your message?

Me: Introduces the Van Gogh of slides.
Audience: So, about those quarterly reports.

When you're using slides, you have to balance visual engagement and relevant information. ⚖️

A slide that's beautiful but doesn't advance your message is just as pointless as a slide with 12 bullets and a title that says, "Why Bother? No Choice Soon = Science (testing) Advances, Media 'Instant Messaging' Globally, Risk Management, Sustainability No Longer Altruistic." (Yes, a real slide from a conference I attended.) 😕

I'm a huge fan of slides, and I use them in most of my presentations.

However, I don't use bullets or more than two lines of text. Rather, I focus on one simple idea per slide, illustrated with a relevant image (sometimes humorous, and always something that enhances the point I'm making).

There is no opportunity for the participants to:

🔸read ahead and plan their arguments or disagreements

🔸read ahead and start Googling the point

🔸get distracted by something at the bottom of the slide they don't understand

🔸not follow what I'm saying because they're so busy reading

🔸strain their eyes trying to read miniscule text

I love slides, and at the same time, I only love them when they're relevant, practical and useful to the participants - and enhance and advance the message I'm trying to convey.

Do your slides advance and enhance your message? Or are they actually a hindrance to your message?

P.S. How do you like my meme? 😆 

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Are your identities "real?"

Are you a "real" writer? A "real" artist? A "real" speaker?🤔

I've published a nonfiction book, a microfiction story, and I write practically every day, as well as competing in writing challenges. I even wrote a children's book that I've never published.

Why does it feel weird to call myself a writer?

Do you have the same barrier?🧱

We watched the movie "A Little White Lie," and this bit of dialogue hurt:

"Teresa: I'm excited for the students to meet, like, a real writer.

Shriver: Well, aren't there plenty of real writers here? T., Simone?

Teresa: It's like the only place you can find their books is in the college bookstore in the local author section."

Ouch.🤕

You can't find my book in brick and mortar bookstores. It's on Amazon and some other online sites, and I have a couple boxes in my office for events and clients. But it's not a best seller or known by more than probably a thousand people.

Even though I write every day, how many people see it? Not many, in the grand scheme of things.

So can I call myself a writer? If I'm not famous? If I don't make a living at it?

Well, yes. Yes I can.

Because I decide what my identities are. I'm a "real" writer.📝

An electrician has to go through training and then an apprenticeship, gain thousands of hours of experience, then take an exam and get an certificate before they can even apply for a license.

Of course, writing, speaking and making art aren't as dangerous as electrical work, and I would like to know an electrician won't kill me or himself working in my house.⚡🔌

But if there isn't some external "proof" of your identities, how can you know what to call yourself?

My husband paints; his art is all over our house. Has he sold any? No. Does he have formal training? No. Is he an artist? He hesitates to own that identity, but yes, he is.

I used to market my programs and coaching to "speakers," but I realized that so many of the business presenters I work with—who speak as part of their jobs or as a way to gain visibility and credibility—don't identify as "real" speakers.

So they didn't see themselves in my marketing!💡

Now I call them something they can identify with: "business presenters" or "people who speak for their organization." That one's a little awkward. 🤷🏻

How about you? Are you uncomfortable identifying yourself a certain way because you don't feel "real?"

How would it feel to say "I'm a speaker," "I'm a writer," "I'm an artist," "I'm an athlete," or "Insert yours here?"🎉

P.S. Also, transgender and nonbinary people have real identities, whether you believe in them or not.

👇🏼Share your thoughts below! 

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

You get the courage after you do it

You're not going to build public speaking confidence before you do it. That's not the way it works.

You have to actually do the presentations, build the skills, get the experience, survive and learn from your mistakes. That's how you build your confidence.

And every time you you mess up and you don't die, you put that in your back pocket and you pull it out the next time you need a little bit of courage to get in front of an audience or to do something risky.

Unfortunately, it's pretty hard to build courage or confidence if you're not doing the thing you're scared shitless of.

[Thanks to "Three Kings" for this excellent piece of dialogue.

Archie Gates : The way it works is, you do the thing you're scared shitless of, and you get the courage AFTER you do it, not before you do it.

Conrad Vig : That's a dumbass way to work. It should be the other way around.

Archie Gates : I know. That's the way it works.]

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!