It's hard to describe...

Have you ever gotten stuck while describing something and just couldn't quite put it into words? If you're sitting around with friends and you can't quite explain the amazing meal you had at the Indian restaurant, it's no big deal.

But when someone asks you about your service or product, you better be able to describe it. "I'm not doing it justice," just doesn't cut it. One woman I heard recently at a networking event started her 10-minute presentation with, "What should I say?" Not the strong opening I was hoping for.

Even something as short and sweet as your professional introduction (aka "elevator speech") (and it IS short and sweet, isn't it?) needs to be crafted and practiced so you don't find yourself saying, "I can't really describe what I do." And believe me, I've actually heard people say this! If you can't describe what you do to people who would hire you, how will you ever get a customer? If you're confused, they'll be confused.

At a speaking engagement, at a networking event, in any business-oriented situation, you should be prepared to talk about the following:

1. What do you do?

You need to have your professional introduction nailed. It should be short, concise and not one of those contrived "make me guess" kinds of statements.

If you are a jack-of-all-trades, pick the most relevant aspect of your work to represent when you're networking. I used to run a nonprofit, a jewelry business and my public speaking coaching business all at the same time. When someone asked me, "What do you do?" I picked the one that made the most sense in the setting I was in. If it came up in conversation, I would mention the other businesses, but otherwise, I focused on one job and made it primary.

If you can't describe or define what you do, or you overwhelm a new contact with too many options, you are diluting your focus and your message. People may determine that you do too many things to do any one of them well. Or they may perceive that you have several jobs because you aren't successful in any of them. Or they just don't know who you are and what your message is, and they can't refer you to anyone.

2. What do you speak about?

This might be hard if you have a lot of topics, but the best way to describe what you speak about is to share the general theme of your presentations. I speak about topics related to public speaking. These topics might include networking, making presentations fun, using preparation rituals, promoting your business without sounding like a commercial, using PowerPoint more effectively, understanding adult learning principles ... but they all come back to public speaking and presentation skills.

If, as I mentioned above, your speaking topics are unrelated and diverse, pick the ones that make sense with the group you're talking to, and focus on those. I would also argue that, if you have too many disparate topics, you are again diluting your focus and message, and therefore your potential client pool.

Other questions you might be asked in business networking or speaking situations:

Who is your ideal client?

What is the process like (of using your service or product)?

How or where do you make (sell, market, design, promote, advertise, etc.) your product or service?

Explaining yourself and what you do is about clarity, consistency, and credibility, and it's about concentrating your concepts and message so that there is no question who you are and what you're about.

Be prepared. Practice. Know exactly what you're going to say and how you're going to say it. Never again be the person who, when asked what you do says, "It's hard to explain."

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Friday Fun: Comedians

I am constantly fascinated by how much speakers can learn from comedians. They are masters of surprise, timing, storytelling, audience engagement, discipline, preparation, handling pressure, handling failure, taking risks, and many other techniques that speakers need to understand.

Enjoy these 25 posts that reference sitcoms, comedians, and documentaries about comedians and comedy! Some of my favorites are Jerry Seinfeld, Kathy Griffin, Eddie Izzard, Graham Norton and Ricky Gervais. (Most recent posts are at the top.)

Here are a couple to get you started:

What I've learned from Kathy Griffin

Lessons from Seinfeld

What do do when you're bombing

"Every comedian has a f'n excuse. 'It's the candles, it's the smoke. Put these candles out -- I gotta go on.' I make no excuse. I just wasn't good."~ Jerry Seinfeld

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Does your audience feel welcome?

On Friday I had an appointment with a new client. It was a long drive to get there, and a long drive to get back, especially on the Friday of a holiday weekend. I was probably in the car a total of seven hours. But I had such a great experience while I was there, I wasn't nearly as crabby as I could have been when I got home!

I walked into the lobby, approached the receptionists and told them who I was there to meet. They said, "Are you Lisa? We've been expecting you!" Instantly, the drive faded away. They were expecting me! Do you know how often this happens when I visit a client? NEVER. Maybe my name is on a security list from time to time, but nobody at the front desk is ever "expecting" me.

The women offered me coffee or water and asked me to wait for the assistant who would escort me to meet my client. The assistant appeared almost immediately, and said she was filling in for the regular assistant with whom I had arranged the appointment.

As we were walking to my client's office, another woman fell in behind. I asked if we should let her pass as the hallway was narrow, and she said she was on break and in no hurry. She mentioned she was one of several people who had been on call to come get me when I arrived.

Several people were on call to come get me when I arrived? How much more welcome could I feel?

I won't give too much detail, but this is a large international company, with 1,000 people working just at this one site. And every one of them is busy, right? Just like at your workplace and every workplace. My client, in particular, oversees several brands and thousands of employees on two continents. He's a busy guy, too.

And yet, I don't remember ever feeling so anticipated and welcomed by a corporate client, whether at a small or large company. Everyone I met was cheerful and seemed pleased to meet me, like I was someone important to them. Nor has anyone ever given me such a thorough tour of their operation, so I could learn about and understand the company culture before we started working, as my client himself did.

Did this make my day? It sure did.

How about you? When your audience members arrive, do they feel welcome?

Do you rush around, trying to get your equipment set up or practicing your speech, ignoring or avoiding the people filing into their seats? Do you show up at the last possible minute, hoping you can just pop right onstage and not have to interact with anyone?

Or do you purposely finish setting up early so you can greet people, chat with them, and make them feel excited to be there?

Do you introduce yourself to some audience members so you know a few people's names and can refer back to them during the presentation? Do you make an effort to learn something about your audience in general so you can incorporate relevant and customized information into your talk?

How do you make the audience feel special, like you're there just for them, like you're thrilled to finally meet them? Like you're the host and they are your most honored guests?

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Never can say goodbye

Do you ever go to a party or family gathering and find it hard to leave? You start saying goodbye to people, and it's inevitable that there's someone you didn't talk to enough. So now you're getting caught up, and the clock keeps ticking. You try to say goodbye to everyone you know, here you are, 30 minutes later, still trying to leave.

Presentation closings are a little bit like saying goodbye at a party. Speakers have an incredibly difficult time saying goodbye to the audience. Here are some examples of presentation closings I see all the time.

1. The Fade

The speaker gets to the end of her talk, her volume starts to drop, she mumbles a few things no one can hear and says, "That's it."

2. The Beaten Bush

The speaker gets to the end of her talk and tries to find as many ways possible to recap her points, going in circles without actually ending.

3. The "What the...?"

The speaker gets to the end of her talk, but the audience doesn't realize it. There's an awkward pause until the speaker finally walks away and the audience, confused, starts clapping.

You've probably seen these closings and more -- if you can call them closings, that is.

Here are some good reasons to put more time and thought into your closing.

1. The audience needs to know when you're done

There's nothing ambiguous here. If they don't know you're done, you're not done. It's awkward and uncomfortable, not to mention unprofessional. If nothing else, say "Thank you" so the audience knows they can clap and leave!

2. You get to leave your audience with your final thoughts and message

This is your opportunity to remind the audience of your points and your core message. You've talked about a lot of different things, and they may be focusing on any one of them. Offer Q&A, and then take your last few moments to remind them of your message.

3. You get to ask your audience to do something

This is called a "call to action," where you challenge the audience to take the next step, whatever it is. You might want them to call you or buy something from you. You might want them to donate money, call their congressional representative or hang flyers advertising a local festival. What do you want the audience to do as a result of your presentation? This is your chance to ask for what you want.

4. You have an opportunity to be memorable

This is where you say something so interesting, funny, astounding, clever, heartwarming, intriguing or instigating that they can't stop thinking about your message. You can show a great image, you can share a meaningful quote, you can finish a story you started in the beginning, you can do one of a million things. Just make sure it's something that brings your presentation full circle and ties it all together. Make sure it will connect with the audience (as much as you can be sure of anything before a presentation!).

There are lots of good reasons for using an effective, memorable closing. There are no good reasons to fade out at the end, say "That's it," and slink away. Give your audience a nicely-wrapped package all tied up with a bow. Now they can leave, and once they leave, they will remember you.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

What's the relationship between confidence and nervousness?

Last week, I gave a 10-minute presentation based on some of the challenges in my 12 Speaking Challenges for 2012 program. The topic was on building your confidence muscles, and the message was that these particular challenges can be done at any time -- no audience necessary -- to help build overall confidence, which leads to confidence as a speaker.

One of my points was that you don't have to feel confident to look confident. There are both mental and physical aspects to confidence, and oftentimes if you work on the outer appearance of confidence, you will also build your inner confidence. At the end of the presentation, one of the audience members asked how I felt -- the "inner me." What do you think I said?

Here was my response (turn up the volume to hear the question that's asked) -- it's only 11 seconds:



If you look at Nicole's face at the end of the video (left of screen in purple pullover), that pretty much sums up the audience's reaction.

Why is it so surprising that a confident person (me) can also still be nervous?

For me, nervousness is a temporary condition, spurred by my desire to do well, the great unknown of how the presentation will go, and sometimes other factors -- in this case, feeling like I had too much material for a ten-minute presentation. It also usually dissipates fairly early on in a presentation, but because this was a short gig, it never fully went away. (This is a group I speak in front of regularly, and I'm frequently trying out new material on them.)

Confidence, however, is more permanent and deep-seated, once you develop it. I have complete confidence in my topic, my message and my ability to connect with the audience, and it's pretty hard to shake that. Even if I make a mistake (like a dopey blunder I made in this presentation where I referred to someone known to everyone in the group by the name of another group member), I have some momentary embarrassment, but it doesn't affect my overall confidence in the long run.

Nervousness also has something to do with realizing that we just can't control everything. Even when we think we have control, it doesn't take much to shatter the illusion. Witness technology failures, lost notes, bombed jokes, mind-blanks, and unexpected questions.

The flip side of that nervousness is the confidence in knowing that the best we can do is be prepared for mishaps by anticipating obvious things that could go wrong, and then doing our best to handle them in the moment with humor and grace!

Confidence grows with every minute of experience you gain and every accomplishment you put away in your back pocket. Once you've built confidence, it's pretty hard to destroy it.

Nervousness is common, it's fleeting when you learn how to manage it, and it coexists happily side by side with confidence.

What's your take on the relationship between nervousness and confidence?

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Why your audience isn't participating

One of the quickest ways to lose your audience is to pretend to want participation, but not really invite it. How do you do this? Ask the wrong kinds of questions.

I love asking my audience questions. I love to know how they respond to my topic and my ideas, and I'm constantly asking for their experiences and their thoughts. I attended a presentation recently where the speaker seemed to be doing this, but was actually just reinforcing her own experiences and her own thoughts, through the use of both rhetorical questions (questions asked for the purpose of making a point, not for the purpose of getting an answer) and ridiculous questions.

Here's an example of the different ways someone could ask the same question. In a recent presentation, I asked my audience if they've ever regretting not speaking up when they had something to say. Here are a couple of ways I could have said it:

1. "Don't you hate it when you wish you had said something but you didn't?"

2. "How many people in this room just love that sucky feeling in your gut when you should have said something but didn't?"

3. "Raise your hand if you've ever regretted not saying something when you should have."

The first question doesn't give the audience an opportunity to answer, beyond nodding their heads and responding internally. One problem with a question like this is that there's an assumption we will all have the same response. Maybe someone puts her foot in her mouth all the time and is trying to speak up less. This question assumes everyone in the audience has had the same experience.

The second question is sarcastic, assuming the opposite response, similar to the assumption made in the first question. Except that this question appears to ask for audience participation, but of course no one will raise her hand, because no one loves that sucky feeling.

The third question is direct, requests a response, does not assume anything about the audience, and results in a show of hands. From there, I can go on and ask for examples, or for people to talk to their neighbor or any number of follow-up activities. This question opens the door instead of creating a barrier.

In most presentations, we use a combination of questions. Sometimes we use a rhetorical question because we want to make a point. Sometimes we ask a ridiculous question in order to get a laugh. Most of our questions, however, should be of the direct and specific kind. Here's a post I wrote a couple of years ago about how to carefully direct your audience's response so you're not left hanging when you ask a question.

Back to the presentation I recently attended where the speaker used almost entirely rhetorical and ridiculous questions. Three things happened for me:

1. I got frustrated because I wanted to participate but couldn't.

2. I started to feel manipulated by her questions, which weren't really questions but roundabout ways of stating her opinions.

3. Her presentation started sounding more like a rant than a serious, thoughtful conversation.

Think about the kinds of responses you want when you ask the audience questions, and make sure that your questions are not primarily about reinforcing your own points. Use rhetorical questions sparingly; they can be powerful, but they can also be annoying and manipulative.

Here's an entertaining page with literal answers to rhetorical questions.

Here's an in-depth article by Olivia Mitchell covering the 10 steps to asking questions so you get an answer every time.



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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Are you giving the audience tools they can use?

One of the things I find lacking in many presentations is the useful take-home tool. Sure, I hear lots of good ideas from speakers, but I don't often go home with action steps rather than concepts. I don't often go home with concrete things I can DO to improve my business, my presentations or my life.

That's why I enjoyed Jason Womack's presentation so much last week, based on his book Your Best Just Got Better: Work Smarter, Think Bigger, Make More.

First, I'll share my thoughts on why Jason's presentation was effective from a public speaking perspective.

I can be a bit jaded when I watch presenters, as sometimes I feel that I'm seeing recycled bits from other presenters, over and over and over, not even presented in a fresh way. I do a lot of internal eye-rolling, especially when speakers say things or try to get me to do things that feel contrived.

1. From the get-go, Jason's authenticity was transparent. His energy was infectious. And when it wasn't infectious (sometimes you can't help that it's 5:00 on a Friday afternoon or that a joke falls flat), he didn't let that get in his way, but used it as a moment of humor.

2. He was constantly asking the audience questions, inviting our participation. Occasionally, he had us turn to our neighbor and have a conversation. The first time, I was expecting to be asked to report back and wasn't. That was a little disappointing, and it reminded me how much audience members like to share! When given the right environment -- open, friendly, energetic -- people want to talk about their experiences and learn from each other. I was glad we got to share our conversations the second time.

3. Jason asked us for our "aha!" moments, and with the abundance of mind-twisting concepts he shared, people started having and calling out "aha!" moments. If you don't ask, how do they know what you want from them?

4. He used great examples and analogies. For example, he broke down a day into 96 15-minute segments, to demonstrate how much time we really do have to get things done that are important to us. And then suggested that, when someone is 15 minutes late to an appointment, they've just stolen 1% of my day. Quantifying our time, and dividing it up into 15-minute segments, also made sense in the larger picture that Jason was painting, that time spent waiting for the next thing, or after the meeting has been cancelled, can be used to accomplish tasks and goals. His examples were practical and relevant.

5. I also appreciated that Jason wasn't afraid to share his own process. At one point, he asked the audience a question, and commented afterward that sometimes he asks it at the beginning of the presentation and sometimes at the end, and that he hasn't yet analyzed whether the results are different.

6. A couple more things I noticed: He incorporated a lot of humor, some of it silly -- my favorite kind. He used a stool as a place to sit, to break up his movement on stage, and also as a prop to represent an office. He used pauses well, letting ideas sink in, and at one time taking a moment for a photo op. And he took a nice long time to think about questions before answering them, giving real thought to his answers. Sometimes my clients tell me that they fear looking like they don't have an answer, and so rush to say something -- anything -- without taking the time to think first. Jason's method shows that the audience is patient, and will wait for you.

Now, to some of the practical and useful ideas I brought home.

1. Make a list of four 15-minute things I could do if I had some time free up in my day. (Vacuum and sweep -- cats drag a lot of litter around; have a cup of tea; send a message to my 12for12 group members to see how they're doing; watch one or several of the short instructional videos I save but never "have time to" watch.)

2. I noticed that one of Jason's screenshots showed his use of Remember the Milk, and I had been meaning to check it out as an alternative to Evernote. Signed up and I'll see where that takes me.

3. Biggest time suck and productivity impediment: Interruptions. A USA Today study found that people (I'm assuming in a typical corporate environment) are interrupted 180 times a day. Well, I'm my own biggest interrupter. Something to remember as I flit from project to project.

4. "Three or more" -- the practice of saving up comments, e-mails, texts, conversations until there are three or more. Rather than send an individual e-mail every time I think of something to say to someone, wait until I have three things to tell them. Now if only I could get other people to adopt this practice!

5. Jason's use of a variety of domains to try out experiments was intriguing to me. He mentioned one domain that points to a blog post about a particular topic, that then leads to a PDF download. What a quick and simple way to test out an idea for a business, a product, or a service. And yes, I'm aware that others are doing this, but this is the first time it sounded like something that would work for me. As a speaker, you are frequently repeating information that is not new. It's how you deliver the information in a way that resonates with your audience that makes the difference between your audience taking action and your ideas flowing in one ear and out the other.

The presentation was a lot of fun for me, as speaker and as an audience member. If I can take something home, in addition to material for this blog, I'm especially happy. How can you provide more useful, relevant and practical tools for your audiences?

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Don't say "you" when you mean "I"

In this interview with Ellen Degeneres, Seal talks about his separation from his wife, Heidi Klum. Notice his use of second person ("you") narrative in telling his story in this clip, rather than the more appropriate first person ("I").



Here are a couple of quotes:

"You go into these things with the greatest intentions."

"When you say 'I do,' when you say, 'Till death do us part,' those vows hold value, they're not just words."

"You just grow apart after awhile. I mean, you try and you work through it, and the thing that you quickly realize when you're married and you become a parent, is that you do the best that you can. And it makes you actually appreciate your parents a lot more."

Seal is telling his own story, yet is de-personalizing it by using the second person. Have you ever noticed yourself doing this?

First person is typically the method we use when telling a story about ourselves ("I"). If we're telling a story about someone else, we use third person ("he" or "she" or "they.") Second person is less common when telling a story, but is used more when addressing the reader "... a very common technique of several popular and non- or quasi-fictional written genres such as guide books, self-help books, do-it-yourself manuals, interactive fiction, role-playing games, gamebooks ... musical lyrics, advertisements and also blogs." (From Wikipedia)

Perhaps Seal is uncomfortable talking about his situation and therefore finds it easier to distance himself from the pain by saying, "you." Perhaps he's trying to maintain a professional demeanor and uses "you" to keep the conversation more formal and general (another way of doing this would be to use "one," as in "One goes into these things with the greatest intentions." Even more de-personalizing!). Whatever the reason, it doesn't work here, and it doesn't work in a presentation.

Why not?

1. Audiences relate to you as a person when you talk about your own experiences in the first person. You are speaking from your heart and the audience can connect to that. "I" clearly defines the subject of the story.

2. However, when a speaker tells a story using the second person "you," it sounds like he's making an assumption that the audience has had the same experience, that this is everyone's story. This isn't the same as relating to or connecting to a person. I find myself thinking, "No, I've been married for 22 years and we haven't grown apart. That's you, not me."

Is there a time when "you" is appropriate? Yes, but not in the context above.

1. Use "you" when asking questions of the audience or giving instructions to the audience. "Have you experienced this?" "What happened when you tried this?" "How many of you feel this way?" This is an effective way of using "you" to find out how the audience is relating to your topic and to let them talk about themselves without misplaced assumptions getting in the way.

2. Use "you" when giving instructions or talking directly to or about your audience or reader (as I'm doing in this blog post). "Before you start writing your presentation, find out what the audience needs, wants and cares about." "When you design your slides, make sure the font is big enough for people in the back row to read." In this case, you are offering the audience solutions and speaking directly to them, and you want to make it all about them and what's important to them.

When you're talking about yourself, use "I."

When you're talking about your audience, use "you."

Don't use "you" to talk about yourself; it just creates distance and a lack of connection.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

12for12 February Challenge: Be present

All 12for12 posts have been removed, as they are now part of my "SpeakUP! 8 Daily Challenges to Build Your Confidence Muscles at Work, at Home, and in Front of an Audience" online program, which will be launching mid-January 2013..

For more information on "SpeakUP," click here.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!